cheekyisyou

i seriously don't understand those eyebrows of them minahs.

somethings bothering me. so much, that i'm not sure if i can put it into the right words.

sometimes i think it's a better life for the autistic.
i know, it's wrong to think that. but tonight, i can't help it.

why not be oblivious to this ugly world we live in? it's depressing having to sleep when you know we're destroying the world, when the strangers aren't nice anymore. they're cold and crude and they want to see you go down. and they're not happy. they definitely don't make you happy. an old lady smiled back at me today and that made my day. but the rest were just, bad vibes?

what is up with the world? i don't know how to react anymore. i don't know how to sleep feeling happy and wakeup knowing its going to be a better day ahead. i do try. is it supposed to be this hard?

i think i'm starting to hate the thing that i love (one of the most).
i thought i'd be happy modeling. i love the runway. i love the camera (HAHA don't laugh at me!! haha). iloveeverythingaboutit. but the people you come across sometimes, or rather most of the time, makes it all not worth it. not at all.

maybe quitting the biz and help build houses for the homeless might be one of the smartest ideas i've ever come up with.

i love my friends. my family. god only knows how much i love them and even though i don't meet anyone as often as i would like to, i do treasure you to death. i love you and thats it. good night.

the weekend's over and its monday and my boyfriend's back in camp and woowee he's POPing this wednesday! although most of the people he knows that we met last weeking just happened to be ORDing soon. like someone's mocking us somewhere up there. haha.

anyway, saturday was larry's (b's good friend) birthday celebration and also a belated one year anniversary for me and B (: me went for dinner at Muthu's Curry with super good butter chicken and big ass prawns. oh and fish head curry and spiced cabbage. haha. after that we headed to access pub near homeclub (which smelt like vomit plus green tea air-f) and suddenly there was this chinese girl on the pool table dancing to hiphop ka-rio-ki and she was told it was larry's birthday and gave him a lap dance! hahaha i later dreamt that night that it was added to the tab for an additional $27.50 but of course, in reality, it was free. haha. and last night's dream was even weirder: i could fly, i was a SECRET AGENT, and with me were the CSI MIAMI team and jamie oliver. hahaha wtf stupid dreams.

today i went for ice cream @ ice cream chef and it was alright. i was pretty pissed that they mixed my 2 ice cream flavours together but next time, i know what to do. i have pictures, but my brother says that the cable he borrowed is downstairs in the box with the other cables but it isn't so i shall upload them prolly tomorrow or something. but school's in the morning, i have to meet up with groupmates for some project work. so so early. i have to wake up 8.

so many things to do during these 2 weeks. its supposed to be a holiday but it doesn't seem like one now. and my dad's birthday is coming up and dang, we are going to redang for snorkling. dang because i hate the sea. i'm scared of sharks, see. even though there might not be any in redang, i still get freaked out. i wish we could scuba instead of snorkle. i prefer swimming & floating just doesn't have its kicks.

plus, there's that confirmed shoot at annsiang. ah fuck how?!
& i'm skipping my makeup test for b's POP. hahahaha i'm in so much deep shit this june.

i feel drunk cause of drowsy medicine. actifed works wonders for the sniffles!

i love you bestfriend! (btw)

uncle mark: (talking to me) thats such a small mouse. i can never use that. my fingers are too fat!

dad: i don't think you can use a mouse mark, you'd need a rat!

uncle mark: maybe a wombat?

my boyfriend is having a high fever in the living room and it sickens me to watch him suffer, knowing that my efforts won't make it go away. at least i'll try.

and i'm thinking of quitting marketing, dye my hair bright red and be the next laksa prodigy in katong and take all of Katong Laksa's business away and get rich or die trying.

good night.
it's gonna be one long one tonight. i loathe school, as usual.

meow moew woof woff squeak dick.